Livin’ on a Prayer

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The past few weeks have been increasingly difficult in so many ways. As I approach my last day in jail, I find myself more and more emotional over leaving the women who have been such a large part of my life over the last three years. As Tim’s job search has stretched on, I find myself more and more stressed out over finances, schedules, commitments, and boundaries. As the holidays draw near I find myself more and more torn over how and where to spend our time and our resources. And life still happens and the world still turns, and each day brings a new adventure.

When we were on the road from Orlando to Memphis a couple of weeks ago, Tim was offered a job in South Florida that would require us to relocate, and quickly. It was our only offer at the time, and it would have been really easy to take it just for the sake of an immediate paycheck. After a lot of prayer and counsel, we decided to turn it down. At the same time, Tim had been interviewing with a certain company that is represented by an iconic Mouse, but we were days or weeks away from hearing a response from them. We decided to take the risk. We turned down the job in South Florida, and prayed for patience, wisdom, and discernment as we waited to hear from the larger opportunity.

Y’all, this was REALLY hard. In my mind, I thought that if we just remained patient and faithful to what we knew was right, that the answers would come immediately. But this didn’t happen. Tim contracted the flu, the phone didn’t ring, and our mutual stress levels continued to rise. I would break down, Tim would break down. We prayed with friends and family and waited. And waited. And waited some more.

Last Thursday, Tim and I were running errands together and his phone rang. He shuffled to find it in his pocket, and I made the comment that I get nervous every time his phone rings, waiting for good news. Or bad news. Or any news at all! It was a spam call (Why are we still getting these?), so he put his phone away. It rang again moments later, but this time, the recruiter he has been working with was on the other end.

Tim had a short-term contract offer from the company for which we’d been waiting. As soon as I heard the words, I burst into tears. Yes, it is a 30-90 day contract for hire, and there are no guarantees of full-time placement beyond that, but it was a clear answer to prayer, and Tim accepted.

We both shed tears, and prayed prayers of gratitude. We contacted family and friends who have been praying for us relentlessly for MONTHS. It was a moment of joy, relief, gratitude, and hope. We know we aren’t out of the woods yet, but this is a massive next step in Tim’s career. And I am so incredibly proud of him, of how hard he has worked, and how patient he has been during this process.

The next day, we were on the way home from meeting the Hudspeth family at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, and our first dance wedding song started to play in car. We danced to “Prayer ’94”, the acoustic version of Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” at our wedding. I grabbed Tim’s hand and started crying again. When we danced to this song at our reception, I had no idea how much the lyrics would foreshadow what we would go through over the first four months of marriage – that Tim would lose his job, that I would work as much as possible to make ends meet, that some days we would literally survive on prayer because we had nothing left in us after the fear and insecurities and stress and doubt set it.

So we now know where we are supposed to be, at least for now. Tim will go to work for one of the most respected companies in his industry (in any industry, for that matter), and get to use their tools and assets and technology while producing work that will be seen by millions. We get to stay in Orlando with the people who have loved us both so well over the last several years through moving, career changes, meeting, dating, engagement, and marriage. And we will continue to trust – to trust each other, to trust the Lord, and to trust this crazy process of life, which never ceases to amaze me.

For now, we will continue to live on a prayer.

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