As I read over my last post, I realized there were so many things left to say. The truth is, I could write countless blogs about our wedding, but I thought I would offer some more practical words for those who are planning a wedding or want to marry one day.
First of all, remember that there is no formula. I know people who met and married within three months. I know people who dated and then were engaged for five years. Tim and I met, dated, and married within 18 months. It was perfect for us, but that may not work for other couples. Tim knew on our first date that he wanted to marry me. I didn’t figure it out for another month or so. Once we knew, we KNEW (I hate it when people tell me that) and we were ready. We were engaged for six months and I couldn’t have handled a longer or a shorter engagement.
Secondly, lean on your people. I had been in a dozen weddings before, but I had no idea what to do when it came to my own wedding. My childhood best friend and maid-of-honor, Emily, was my rock through the whole process. She married her husband, Frank, three years ago and knows all of the ins and outs of wedding planning and etiquette. I sent her countless texts asking how to do things, when to do things, and she always responded with not only what she thought, but what she thought would be best for me. She planned my bachelorette party while eight months pregnant with her first child, and even through birth she never stopped encouraging and supporting me. She taught me how to pee in my wedding dress and gave the best maid-of-honor speech I have ever heard in my life. Her daughter, May, was our flower girl and they were just the most beautiful Mama and Baby wedding duo!
And Emily wasn’t the only one. My Aunt Beth created a rehearsal dinner that was beyond our wildest dreams. She worked tirelessly behind the scenes to make our wedding absolutely beautiful. My parents and my brother and his wife sacrificed all of their time, money, sleep, and vacation days to not only be present, but fully support and encourage Tim and I through a very chaotic planning process and wedding day. Tim’s parents and his sister, Kristen, pulled together detail after detail even in the middle of our wedding day. We have amazing people in our lives.
Thirdly, pick your battles. This is just a great life principle that I am still learning with each passing day. As I have written before, Tim and I decided which “hills we would die on” early in the engagement process, and let everything else go. We have continued to do this every day since we have been married. Pick what is important to you and your family, then let the rest take care of itself. While our day was perfect for us, it was far from perfect. But that is part of what made it amazing!
Finally, don’t forget to be thankful. As I work on Thank You Notes and go through pictures and texts and voicemails, I continue to be overwhelmed by everyone who has contributed to this season of our life together. Like our pastor and friend Zach Van Dyke says: If your wedding is the best day of your life, something is wrong. The wedding is important, and should represent the best parts of your relationship, but it is just a party. The real deal is yet to come, and you will remember the people who supported you both in person and in spirit. Be sure the thank them. There is no such thing as too much gratitude.
Ok, now you can stay tuned for The Honeymoon Blog and The Newlywed Blog…